I have been trying to control visibility within a family too, and I just figured it out. 1) The object that needs to be visibly controlled within the family needs to be created as its own family and inserted as a component. Make sure under the "Settings" pulldown menu, select "Family Category and Parameters" and check the box next to the "Shared" Parameter. 2) Insert the object as a component in your family. 3) Open your "Family Types" window and pick the "Add" button under the "Parameters" heading. 4) Select the following in the "Parameter Properties" dialog box. a) "Family parameter" b) Under "Discipline:" select "Common" c) Under "Type:" select "Yes/No" d) Check the dot next to "Instance" e) Add a name unde "Name:" of your choice f) Select a "Group parameter Under:" to your preference. 5) Select "OK" when done with this. 6) Select the object you want to controll the visibility of and pick properties. 7) In the "Element Properties" dialog box, under the "Graphics" heading and at the right end of "Visible" select the little blank button. The "Associate Family Parameter" box appears. Now select the parameter the you just made and select "OK" and hit "OK" again in the "Element Properties" box.
I can not open your file because I am in Revit 9.1, but I hope this helps.
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